Where'd It Go?

Oh my, the girl is getting used to getting up for work in the morning. She wakes up without an alarm between 05:15 and 05:30 in the morning -all week. Now, Mommy decided to take a day off work tomorrow, and she hopes the baby will sleep in. Hmmm. Ya right. OK, Actually, Mommy's work decided we could all have tomorrow off and Mommy isn't questioning it cause Mommy gets paid either way.
This morning she was up bright and early and very very happy. I hate to have to tote her over to Tara's when she is in such a good mood. It's OK when the girl is cranky. Just kidding. I hate to have to work. I almost wish I could be one of these welfare moms and sit at home all day long with my baby. Then I remember what I do and what kind of impact I have.
The girl has been having issues with poop again. Now, it seems, she only wants to poop every other day. (Are you scared yet? I am.) When she does poop, it's pretty -solid. Which is good because it's less likely to shoot out the side. (Score). And it's not good because it is really hard for her to pass. I have read book after book that say babies can't poop and eat at the same time. Our girl, however, has to be eating in order to poop. I don't get it. I am just going with it. But, no kidding, the girl can't poop unless she is eating. Well, she can but she doesn't like to. Oh, and it still smells HORRIFIC.
Today I changed her and was walking towards the garbage can with the dirty diaper and felt my load get lighter -literally. So, just out of curiosity, I looked into the diaper. Low and behold...the damn thing was empty. Nice. I didn't hear anything hit the ground. Of course, now we have a lot more carpet. There is nothing like trying to hold a baby and figure out where a ball of poop landed. Did I mention she is quick. She has the ability to reach and grab anything in a 5 foot radius. I am trying to hold her and gingerly figure out where I can step, while she has my hair in one hand and is grabbing at the pictures on the wall with the other hand. I gave up and put her in the walker about 15 feet away so I could take care of the issue (not) at hand.

Happy Half Year Birthday!!!

I have decided, due to the unfortunate proximity of the girl's birthday to Christmas, we are going to have to have Half-way Birthday Parties. I figure parties are like shoes...you can never have too many. So, Happy 1/2 Birthday Baby Girl!

These pics are of the baby girl's body pillow. She loves to cuddle with it in her sleep. The picture is a little deceptive. The pillow is actually not bigger than her. It's only 18 inches long.



It's ok if I can't get the pillow, I have feet!

We are having technical difficulties, so we are going to try and post.

Bath Success

Just call me angel in the morning baby.
Just touch my cheek before you leave me.

I always try to respect the girl as a human being because she is a person -not just a baby. I know that sounds silly, but people forget that babies are people too. She has feelings and preferences. Yesterday, we tried to bath. As soon as she started to cry, I respected her feelings and took her out of the tub. Today, she let me bathe her and did not cry or fight at all.  Success -and clean  hair! Of course, then I had to push my luck and try to fit in a bedtime story. Silly mommy knows it isn't a part of the evening routine, but since we moved, story time kinda went by the wayside. It reinforces the phonics, so I need to work it back in.
Today was nice, we texted with Nana, blew bubbles on the porch, cooked dinner and then had a pretty good bath routine. On top of all that, we finally made some progress. I was able to unpack two more boxes and half a garbage bag of shoes. Of course, I didn't get dishes done, but it's a fair trade off for getting to spend time with the girl.

Payton Adam Micheal Lawson

Payton is up to eating 9 cc's at a feeding. I can't remember Annmarie ever eating such a small amount. He is gaining weight and still progressing. So far, (knock on wood) no major ailments.

We Survived!

Getting ready for Mom to go.

 Talk about stressed out! I was so sad. I didn't want my girl to spend the day with anyone but mom.

Tara took me to the pool!

Back home afterwards. Mommy needs a nap,
so I am getting one too!

However, if she had to be with someone else, I am OK with it being someone she is familiar with. And she's pretty used to Tara's house too. I almost exploded last night when the person that was supposed to relieve me called and offered to "come in at 9am (vice 6:30), to let me sleep in". Hmmm...there are musters, head/bed counts, inventories and other things that are all scheduled to happen between 7am and 9am. Thanks, for the offer. But, I think I am going to have to pass. So, then the fool states he can't start until 7:30.
Just when I was really missing the girl, Tara sent over the pool picture. It made me feel a little better.
Then the fool shows up at 7:29 am, not even in uniform and wanted a full half hour pass down. Jerk. Needless to say, the guy forfeited his full pass down. Mommy was late picking Annmarie up. But...the smile on the girl's face was still priceless. I won't have to do this again for a month.
After we napped, mommy decided it was time for fun! So, we went shopping! Yaaaa! And we went to the children's fountains. I can't wait til the girl is old enough to play in them. Today, she just watched the kids as the played. I did blow bubbles all over the place for her to look at. We picked up some cool toys today. After toy shopping and  playing, we came home and Skyped with the grandparents. After this she was so tired that she fell asleep in my arms on the way up to bed. I am going to let her sleep for about another half hour before I wake her up. I gotta keep her on schedule. Plus we told Uncle Matt we would Skype with him today.

Gonna Miss My Little Miss

 

Since I moved down to Lori's it seems we spend so much time in the car. I think that's why I have been feeling overwhelmed lately. You figure, we are in the car an hour each way. It won't be like this forever. Our caregiver is moving down south in July. I am going thru about $90 a week in gas. So, by the time we get home, I just want to play a little bit and eat.

Tonight, I had to pack up a bag for the girl for a day away from the mom. I really don't know if I have everything I need. I almost want to send her walker with her. I don't want to overdo it, but I also don't want her to not have something she needs. I am up to 4 bags. My overnight, her overnight, her cooler of milk, my lunch, empty nursing cooler for work,  and her supply of extra clothes for next week. I know I am forgetting something. I am also taking my condo paperwork so I can finish off a couple of issues with it. This is why I can't make any progress.
She bathed in the sink again. Not horrific, but she only made it about 5 minutes. I wasn't pushing my luck tonight. We did a real quick wash and that was it. Yes she cried, but I didn't let it spiral up. I sacrificed cleanliness for calmness.
Lori is still out of town so the cats are starting to crave attention. This means my allergies are going out of control. The girl had red eyes tonight. I am hoping it's not allergies poking their head out. Maybe she was just tired.
After 15 years, I truly dread having to do a 24 hour shift. I've never had a problem doing the shifts before. Now, I can't imagine not sleeping next to the girl. I have no idea how I am going to go on mission. But, I am so glad I don't have to go on mission for another year.

The difference between accomplishing things and making progress



So close.....and yet.

The original plan tonight was just to get her feet into the water and let her play for a bit....maybe put her into the sink...maybe not. I had to push my luck. I decided to try and wash her hair -which also went well. Then I decided to finish scrubbing her up. When she jerked away and slammed her cheek into the faucet. My kid is destined to be dirty. We accomplished getting her washed, but we did not make progress at solving the problem.

Just like today, I accomplished several tasks, but didn't make any progress. I got a load of laundry in the dryer, met with the realtor, finished re-caulked the tub, put the trash out, fed and bathed the baby, but I made zero progress at anything. Today I had to start adding formula back into her food. I can't get a day ahead on breast milk and I need to make sure the girl has enough food to make it through my 24 hour shift. I am still living out of boxes and garbage bags. And, the house is trashed (-sorry Lori). So overwhelmed -and yet so lucky.  Payton's arms are smaller around than my brother's fingers. If that doesn't bring you back to reality, nothing will.

My brother Jarod finally got to hold Payton

Bath Time Blues

No progress on fixing the bath issue. We tried it the exact same way tonight as last night. I figured maybe I was changing too much and maybe that was adding to the issue. Ummm no. She started crying at the sound of the tub and didn't quit until I pulled her out. So, tomorrow we are definitely trying the sink. She was in an awesome mood all afternoon! We started oatmeal yesterday. I ran out of the rice cereal and decided to try the other. I don't think she likes it and she is a little bound up. We decided to combat it by bringing the amount of oatmeal down.

Nana asked us about gear for our visit. At first I told her we don't need any, but as I think of it, we could use a walker and a car seat...if they truly are only $10 for 6 months. I think she will be more comfortable if she can lay on the seat in the airplane -that way she can lay partly on me if she wants. It will be easier to make it through the airports on layovers too.  The walker is because she likes to go off on her own.

Is it Friday Yet?

Yaaa...Annmarie got to Skype with Grandpa and Nana today! It's been a while, but baby girl still recognized them and was very excited to see them!
Still no luck with the bath issue. Today we tried bathing her first. No dice. Tomorrow, we will bath her in the sink. I just don't understand how she just doesn't like to bath anymore. She used to love it. It would be different if there were some sort of distinct event. She was pissed off at me for putting her in the tub. I just don't get it.
I think I can firmly say we have the sitting thing down pat. She will sit and play with her toys for about a half hour before she gets bored. She sat up in the shopping cart the other day. She was doing really good until she got tired. Then she just slumped over to the side. Good thing mommy always has the perfect purse for any occasion! We simply propped her up and finished up quickly. Muaaah.
Mommy is doing research on California housing laws. I am looking for a loop hole for my mortgage. It seems we are more upside down than I originally thought. It's OK, I am pretty good with a law book -just tired. So, we will have to do double pics tomorrow!

Ying Yang Day



Payton. Still in the fight.

We had a very up/down day. Mommy got told she definitely has to work her 24 hour shift on Saturday. She isn't handling it very well. Mommy knows that other places she would have to do it every 6 days but that doesn't make it any easier. Mommy doesn't know how she is going to be able to deploy if she can't even get through a simple 24 hour shift.
On a happier note, Great Grams is out of the hospital and resting at home -and little Payton is still fighting! Good job little man!
I didn't do so hot on the bath tonight. Tomorrow, Mom is going to change it up again. She is going to keep tweaking things until I like the bath again.

I was in such an awesome mood until my Mommy tried to bath me. We did phonics and played and ate grapes and plums...and even cuddled together on the couch for a while.

Happy Grandfather's Day!

The bubbles in class were sticking to our hair!

 Saturday morning we started out with Aunt Lori joining us at Mommy and Me class. Annmarie graduated Level 1 and started Level 2. For her first time in Level 2 (6-10 month old) she did OK. It is a different format. Level 1 is centered around mommy and baby bonding, while Level 2 is more baby socialization. In Level 1, they see the babies, but don't really interact with them. Level 2 lets them interact and teaches them crawling, standing and other neat tricks.
Speaking of neat tricks...the little one had an interesting Friday night. She woke up at 3am with a really wet diaper and empty stomach. So, I changed her and fed her. I was trying not to jostle her too much so she would go back to sleep. Hence, the feet left out of the one piece zip up PJ's. It was warm. No big deal, right? Ya, whatever. She has been doing this thing where she scrunches everything in her hands. So, I wasn't really curious when I heard her experimenting with the texture of her diaper.  Then I heard her sneeze. So, I reached over to see if all was well. Low and behold: she took off her diaper.
 Somehow, by the grace of God, we did not have a soiled or wet bed.

Mommy n Me Crawl Pads

After finding the old diaper, and putting a new one on, she was wide awake. It took until 5am to get her back to sleep. And yes, she was put the whole way back in her PJ's.

 Then we had to tackle the bath problem. It seems she suddenly hates the bath routine. So, we switched things up. At first I thought it was the chair. So we switched to the jumper. Nope. After that, Aunt Lori picked up a clear shower curtain -something I always made fun of. Now, I see the purpose of a clear shower curtain. The thinking is that if the girl could see me she would be calm and not spaz out when I get into the shower. No cigar. So, this morning, I went to Home Depot and bought a new shower head and faucet set. And then to back it up, we had a pool day. It only took me about an hour to change out the old fixtures.  It took about the same amount of time to blow up each of the 10 (yes, ten) chambers of her kiddy pool. She used it for about 15 minutes before she took a face dive. Of course, we were right there so there was no danger. But, it scared her to the point that she would only sit outside the pool and play with it.

Afterwards we got cleaned up so we could Skype with Grandpa for Grandpa's day -only to find he was having technical difficulties. It's OK. We will get it together in a couple of days. All of the hard work paid off. Baby girl did cry (a lot) while waiting in her chair. BUT, once in the tub she stopped and started having fun again. I hope that tomorrow she will be back to normal. Either way, this was definite progress.

Finally Friday

The PSU outfit still fits!

Even though I know we are steadily making progress with settling in, I still feel like there is so much to do. I feel like I am barely making a dent in everything. The boxes are still everywhere. I know I am making progress, I just can't see it yet. Today we did everything from work to clean the condo and then came home to do laundry.

I am having an issue with the girl's bath. It seems she no longer likes waiting for me to shower. I think switching over to the other pink bouncy chair might have been my downfall. Yesterday she threw a fit and I thought it was because she was over tired. The night before that, I was worried that the water was too hot. Tonight, she just plain old didn't want to wait her turn. It's odd because she never had a problem with it before. Tomorrow we are going to switch to her jumper.

Payton is holding on. I spoke with my brother Jarod for a long time today. He is taking this pretty hard. He tries so hard to be a good dad. Tomorrow I am going to try and get Annmarie into an extra Mommy N Me class (2 total). Every time I think about Payton, I just want to hold the girl and bury my face in her warm, soft hair. No more word on Grams. I am starting to get nervous.  

Welcome Cousin Payton

Payton 2 pounds 10 ounces

Annmarie 13 lb 3.4 ounces

This afternoon Marie Lawson gave birth to my nephew Payton. The doctors had to bring Payton into the world early due to high blood pressure and other complications. Mom was 30 weeks along, but baby was/is still so tiny. Payton will be staying in the NICU for a minimum of 5 weeks. My brother Jarod and his wife Marie were not even allowed to hold the baby. Once again I am forced to realize exactly how lucky I am.
As a comparison, both pictures have the standard snot sucker. To me, that truly drives in the difference in size between the two. If I could have given up a pound or two from Annmarie to his baby, I truly would. Payton: Welcome to Our Family.

I hope Payton is able to fight through his early arrival. 

A picture from our packing/moving evolution.
Such a trooper!

Annmarie's Great Grams Kirk went into the hospital today with radiating chest pains. Luckily the doctors have determined it is not her heart. I have heard the word gall bladder thrown out there, but haven't actually gotten the legitimate diagnosis. They are keeping her at a hospital about 5 miles from Payton's hospital -which might as well be a million miles away from here.

Today Annmarie went to work with mommy for a bit. We had a family sports day. Annmarie did pretty good until she got tired and overwhelmed.  She was fine as soon as we got out of there. Hmmm....mommy found a new way to get out of work early. Nice.
The only other piece of news is that we are working out plans for Nana and Mimi to come out with or right after Janyl.
Oh, I finally got the corrected copy of Annmarie's birth certificate. Funny thing, the amendment was dated the day before my birthday.

Catching Up

Today was the first day back to normal -for whatever that's worth. I am steadily working on catching up on things. My sister Janyl helped me with the bulk of our move down to Lori's house. Its much better for her here. There are more parks to walk to, more room to roll around, and a cool area out front to set up her baby pool! Baby girl is in the stage where she gets frustrated when she can't do things. Which means she is finally learning how to do things. She is learning how to express her frustration. Janyl learned that Annmarie runs the schedule. She saw the girl unleash the hounds of Satan on mommy when she was overtired. Aunt Janyl simply chalked it up to birth control and hid in the other room. She now has a strong appreciation for adhering to baby girl's schedule.  Living at Lori's put an extra 40 minutes in the car every day.  This kind of slows us down, but it also guarantees a decent length nap. Annmarie went to the fountains today with Tara and the other kids. They are floor spouting fountains that are built for kids to run through. Of course, Annmarie sat on the sidelines, but she still had fun. She wore sun screen for the first time and still managed to get some color. I think she got my skin. So, between teething and a slight sunburn, and being tired the evening hours were not fun. Oh teething, well we still have the little sharp peak of an eye tooth, but the bottom gums are white capped. It is supposed to be bottom center two, but they are shifted over a bit. It looks like one of the bottom center teeth and then the one to the left of that one. She has been chewing on everything! We introduced some berries into the meal plan. She really likes blueberries and strawberries. She will sit in front of you with her mouth wide open waiting for the next bite. The other day at the end of the meal, she was still hungry and got a little upset when someone tried to wash her up instead of feeding her more. I am not producing as much food as I need to. I am trying to keep breast feeding as long as possible, but it looks like I may not be able to. I am OK with it. My goal was to make it at least six months and I am almost there. Longer would be nice, but I can look myself in the eye and know I did my best.
We started Mommy and Me classes. I love them. They are fun and it lets her meet other babies. There is a class opening up in August down by Lori's. That one will be so much easier to get to. Maybe when Nana comes back out to visit she can go to one with Annmarie. I think both parties would like it. Or, maybe there's one we can hit in PA. Nana can take her for the afternoon and just -bond.

Educating Auntie

Today's lesson: Do not toy with the baby's schedule. What a long day. Tomorrow we: 1) start moving 2) Mommy n Me class 3) Max's birthday party 4) Skype? 5) collapse from exhaustion.

Lord Please let me be as beautiful as my Aunt Janyl!

 Annmarie is so lucky to have such a beautiful Aunt! The girl was so happy today. She spent the morning visiting with Lori and shopping! Then we followed it up with a nice Mexican dinner. Aunt Janyl was able to get her fajita salad and Annmarie played with her new dolly. Aunt Janyl has discovered that everything works on Annmarie's schedule. As long as we honor nap times, everyone is happy and willing to be toted all over San Diego. Annmarie has been given a pass on some of the phonics. Granted we still hit it once today, just not 4 or 5 times like normal. We were so busy that we didn't even have time to read one book.  Tomorrow, we are going to read the book Grandpa sent. It was so nice of him! Mommy has to go into work tomorrow for about 3 hours, but maybe during that time, Aunt Janyl will help Annmarie Skype with Nana and Grandpa. Hopefully, they have fixed their camera issues. She missed getting to see them.

Yaaaa Aunt Janyl's Here!

Aunt Janyl landed here safely and securely last night. Mommy had Aunt Lori stay with Annmarie so she didn't have to go out in the middle of the night. However, Mommy wasn't used to being up so late, so now she is exhausted. Today was pretty decent. We went to the geneticists. It was interesting. I got a lot of double talk and not a lot of action. Basically, the lady said that she wasn't worried about anything and not test her unless she broke some bones. She said that babies normally have gray or blue sclera for the first year. Mommy has seen quite a few babies and never noticed blue/grayish tint. She also stated that she would not run the tests because they are not conclusive. By definition, doesn't a test have to gauge something?  How is it a test if it doesn't perform a function? I don't know. She did state that she wouldn't worry about it. I am not convinced.

We went out to dinner with Aunt Janyl tonight and Annmarie sat at the table in a high chair for the first time! Such a big girl! She is still pretty stuffy and snotty, but she did well all day! It's cause Aunt Jel is so Awesome!

Knocked Out

Proof she does  have a neck

I wish she would sleep like this at night. Lately, she isn't sleeping because she has a very runny nose. I am on the verge of taking her back in and asking what I can do for her. We have been doing everything from Vics to the cool mist vaporizer. They work well enough, but sooner or later she has to run out of snot.
Two more days until Janyl gets here! Yaa! On another note, I found out that my first 24 hour shift will be on 25Jun -a Saturday. And of course, it is just days after Lori flies to Florida. I am going to talk to Tara tomorrow. If she can't help, I am going to be screwed. Well, not necessarily, but I don't want her to go anywhere unfamiliar for a whole day.

Dog or Cat? Hmmm

So at dinner last night, which was an outdoor BBQ style meal with friends, I discovered several things. Yes, I was truly robbed of experiencing having a "baby" baby. There was a child there born in February that's weight now is less than Annmarie's birth rate. He was a very beautiful, but fragile baby. I like having a tough -strong baby.
I was excited to go to dinner with a couple that also had a new baby. Once we arrived, I was a little nervous because they had three very large dogs. They even called the one a 'puppy'. Ha, unless he's Tootsie's size, there is no way I would call it a puppy. The 'puppy' was a pit mix -which made me especially nervous. And to add to it, they were puppy-sitting the pit mix, soooo any they didn't have first hand knowledge of the dog's history. I almost turned around and left. It's a good thing I didn't. I did use extra caution to keep the dogs at arm's length. But, she absolutely LOVED the dogs. She laughed and laughed when the dogs played with each other. I haven't heard her laugh like that in a very long time. I was beginning to miss my little girl's laugh. It was almost as if she forgot how to laugh. Until yesterday when we were sitting outside. She was laughing so hard she had tears. I wish I could have video taped it, but there was no way I was putting her down around them.
Then after dinner, we came back home and Lori helped me fix the girl's swing. It wasn't really broken, mom is just a moron. The girl lost interest in the swing because she didn't like to lay down in it and I could not for the life of me figure out how to move it into the sitting position. Lori came over and figured it out in under 30 seconds. I felt pretty stupid. It's OK as long as the girl has the best use of all I can give. I did have to install the part that goes over her lap -to prevent her from jumping out. She loves the chair again. She is napping right now, but once she's up we will be able finish Skyping with the rest of the family! Our family loves to travel! Nana and Aunt Janyl are back from Haiti. Aunt Marci is still in Italy and Uncle Scotty is about to head to New York! And Momma is getting ready to move Annmarie back into Aunt Lori's house. Maybe Aunt Janyl can help with that. I think it's a good time. I just have to find a good kinder care down there.

Another First

After a long week, we did manage to get some things accomplished. I was able to get my baby CPR certification and renew my AED certification...and we went to our first Mommy and Me class! I like! She did so well! I liked that she was able to interact with babies her own age. There is one girl there that was born the day before her. And of course, she is just now 13 pounds. I definitely liked the girl running it. She was very baby friendly.

I left this blurry because I didn't ask permission to put the other kids up.
However I still wanted to illustrate how close the kids are to each other.

Yes, we cut the bangs again -and trimmed a little in the back to even it out.

This video is proof that she would rather walk than crawl.

OK, enjoy the pics, I have to get ready to go to a friends house for dinner. 



PS I also polished off Janyl's resume and submitted it a place or two.

Catching Up

Slowly getting better! Went into the docs today to get a little help with the medicine choice. I promise pictures tomorrow. Had a nice long talk with the caregiver. I hated having to do it, but feel better now that I have talked to her about it. I am still doing research to find a replacement, but am giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Paying for a Holiday Weekend

So, it seems I have to pay for getting an extra day off. The past two nights have been very challenging. Last night she did do a little better. The major problem is that babies can't breathe out of their mouths -and she has had a pretty runny nose. But, as we got her to sleep on her side, she did get some sleep. Her runny nose turned into my runny nose and a sinus headache. Now my nose is chapped from running for two days. And, today at work I was passed up for my promotion. When I say passed up, I mean SEVERAL more junior men were promoted over me. Not one woman made advancement in my category. This is the second year in a row that no women were promoted. I was passed up by a guy with a recent DUI, another one that impregnated his 23 year old division officer, and a third that is very far out of physical standards. When I say out of physical standards, I mean he is on the verge of being thrown out for failing multiple physical readiness tests. So, I leave work early and go pick up the girl so we can get home and take a nap. This is one of those days that you just want to sleep it off. Did I mention I yanked one of the charms off of my mommy charm bracelet? Anyway, I get to the caregivers to pick up Annmarie. Keep in mind, when I dropped Annmarie off, the care giver's 2 year old grabbed her by the hair and flung her from a sitting position to a laying down position before I could get a hold of the child and take my child's hair out of her hand. So, I arrive there to pick her up. Annmarie is sleeping in the playpen I provided. The 2 year old goes over to the playpen, gets down on all fours and starts screaming at the top of her lungs. She did this deliberately to scare her. The care giver's response: "No, thank you please". I am mentioning this specifically because this is not the first time I have had incidents. Seriously, the 5 year old  has done very similar things. One time, he came up when I was holding her and grabbed onto her feet and tried to dead weight himself. I had to take a knee in order to avoid either dropping her or letting him snap her legs off. She doesn't stop or discipline the kids. She says that they only do that kind of thing when I come over.
Here's the quandary: Annmarie obviously likes the caregiver. I have known this woman's family for more than a decade. But, my experience tells me that kids generally do worse things when adults aren't around then when they are in front them. So, tomorrow, I am going to have a sit down conversation with her. There are places that are closer and have actual 'baby rooms' where she is around only kids her own age.
So, we get home and it all starts. Our runny noses have mutated over to the flu. We have been in the bathroom most of the night.

Implications: With so many around me advancing, not only am I still on the hook for 24 hour shifts, now their frequency increases. Instead of every 30 days, now it will definitely be at least every 20 days, maybe every 10 days.
If I place the girl in public child care, she will be exposed to all kinds of germs and most likely be sick a lot more often. So, which is worse, bullying or sickness? But, there is a facility a lot closer to me than the current one.